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End of Days

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Soooo the world ends tomorrow eh? Anybody crossing off a few last things on their bucket list? Anybody even have a bucket list?

 

Speaking of the end of the world, this is a pretty funny bit about all the end of the worlds we've lived through:

http://www.maximumpc.com/article/features/end_world_we_know_it_15_aborted_apocalypses#slide-12

 

:rolleyes:

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Soooo the world ends tomorrow eh? Anybody crossing off a few last things on their bucket list? Anybody even have a bucket list?

The only thing left on my bucket list is dying in an orgy of drugs, sex and rock & roll. Oh, and upgrading my Mac.

 

Speaking of the end of the world, this is a pretty funny bit about all the end of the worlds we've lived through:

http://www.maximumpc.com/article/features/end_world_we_know_it_15_aborted_apocalypses#slide-12

Terrific list. You are really coming through with some great links lately.

Personally, when the world ends I've always suspected that it will be of something totally unexpected. Not plague, famine, war nor the personification of Death on a rampage. Forget the Four Horsemen. My prediction is that Earth will be demolished to make way for an off ramp on a pan-galactic highway, or eaten by an intergalactic space goat. Wait. Those was Doug Adams' predictions. So I guess they're out.

 

But don't say I didn't warn you.

(Orgy starts at noon, tomorrow. BYOT — Bring Your Own Toga)

- Thoth

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Perhaps if we predict every possible way the world could end, then it won't end! :lol:

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Perhaps if we predict every possible way the world could end, then it won't end! :lol:

Brilliant!

Okay, I'll start: The Earth's entire population buys into this argument and exhausts itself to death predicting how the world will end. B)

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Somebody doing something seemingly insignificant passes out from watching this episode of House where he cuts into his leg in the bath tub and that seemingly insignificant thing sets off a chain reaction that eventually causes an explosion that punches a hole in the core of the earth, which drains out the bottom, causing the earth to implode and turn into a black hole! :lol:

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Everybody gets so depressed over ruminating on the end of the world that they/we all commit ritualized suicide with a

pizza knife.

7955pizza_knife.jpg

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That sounds painful. I believe I'm beginning to see a pattern to your predictions...

 

So, in theory, if we are preventing the event by predicting it, couldn't we just say "I predict one day the world will end"... and therefore prevent any means to that end?

 

How about...... all the chocolate factories in the world melt down at the same moment that a mad scientists multiplicitor machine goes rogue and causes the world to flood in a wonderful mess of melted chocolates.

 

At least that'd be a tasty end!

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That sounds painful. I believe I'm beginning to see a pattern to your predictions...

Well, yes. The pattern is "everybody dies". But you're right. One possibility is that everybody dies of too much happiness brought on my a fiendish army of cuddly, fluffy kittens. How exactly that would work is not my department. (Kitten pox?)

 

So, in theory, if we are preventing the event by predicting it, couldn't we just say "I predict one day the world will end"... and therefore prevent any means to that end?

Hmm. Seems too much like wishful thinking rather than the rational approach we're experimenting with now. But the Fates has a way of making fools of us all. Suppose the world doesn't end one day but over a period of days. A long weekend, say. Not with a bang but with a long drawn-out whimper.

 

How about...... all the chocolate factories in the world melt down at the same moment that a mad scientists multiplicitor machine goes rogue and causes the world to flood in a wonderful mess of melted chocolates.

So not with a bang but with a gurgle?

 

Wait! What if the world ends but we don't? No, not us playing Adam and Eve, Jules. Rather the whole population of the Earth is transported to a wonderful world of fluffy kittens made of chocolate while the Earth goes kablooie.

 

Does that sound like a plan?

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Hmmm.. perhaps if the world ends, but we don't, we'll all develop some sort of Space Gills that allow us to survive the vacuum of space and swim around like the Cosmic Knowledge Fish.

 

Or perhaps the world will end in a pile of shards when one alien hits our marble "galaxy" out of the ring a little bit too hard?

 

Would Kitten pox make us grow whiskers and ears?

 

Or maybe we just all take the red pill....

- Jools

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The red pill from Matched? Great book! I can't wait for the sequel.

 

How have you managed to have two different avatars?

 

The deadline has passed in Australia and New Zealand, and no one noticed the difference. That means (1) Australia and New Zealand were already in Rapture; (2) Australia and New Zealand went straight to Hell, which looked remarkably like their pre-Rapture state; or (3) somebody's calculations are a teensy bit off. :lol:

 

Don't throw your Tiger Mac on the dump heap just yet, Thoth. You might need it after all.

M

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Hmmm.. perhaps if the world ends, but we don't, we'll all develop some sort of Space Gills that allow us to survive the vacuum of space and swim around like the Cosmic Knowledge Fish.

Love the Cosmic Knowledge Fish. They claim to be "Highly-evolved beings" but doesn't everybody claim that? Those that can claim anything, that is.

 

Or perhaps the world will end in a pile of shards when one alien hits our marble "galaxy" out of the ring a little bit too hard?

Well, we are the Big Blue Marble, after all. But I like to think we're made of sterner stuff. Perhaps we'll just be knocked into a Black Hole and come out a White Hole looking like Cosmic Knowledge Fish.

 

Would Kitten pox make us grow whiskers and ears?

As surely as Chicken Pox makes us grow feathers. And Cow Pox — you don't want to know. So, no death, merely transformation, at around 6pm today. Here's to a furry future.

 

Or maybe we just all take the red pill....

Ah yes. The "machine takeover" scenario where we all become organic batteries living in a dream world. But I don't think I'd like being enslaved to my microwave oven. My TV and Mac have first dibs.

 

I saw the The Hellstrom Chronicle (1971) recently. In it Dr. Hellstrom explains how the savagery and efficiency of the insect world could result in the downfall of Man and the bugs taking over the world. Do the Lady Bugs in your yard look like they're conspiring?

 

-Thoth.

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The red pill from Matched? Great book! I can't wait for the sequel.

The Matrix, I suspect. I don't see another sequel coming. Maybe a prequel.

 

How have you managed to have two different avatars?

Not simultaneously, M.

 

The deadline has passed in Australia and New Zealand, and no one noticed the difference. That means (1) Australia and New Zealand were already in Rapture; (2) Australia and New Zealand went straight to Hell, which looked remarkably like their pre-Rapture state; or (3) somebody's calculations are a teensy bit off. :lol:

1) You forget that the world begins and ends in America (for some).

2) :lol:

3) GASP! Is it even possible that someone's prediction of the End Of The World could be wrong? Again?

 

Don't throw your Tiger Mac on the dump heap just yet, Thoth. You might need it after all.

Sorry M. I have it on good authority that Hell uses Windows '98 exclusively.

 

Here's keeping a good thought.

- Thoth.

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The Matrix, I suspect. I don't see another sequel coming. Maybe a prequel.

Oops. I saw The Matrix, too. Nice to see that it stuck. :)

 

3) GASP! Is it even possible that someone's prediction of the End Of The World could be wrong? Again?

That's it! The Rapture came in the year 1000, and we've all been living on borrowed time ever since.

 

Sorry M. I have it on good authority that Hell uses Windows '98 exclusively.

Well, of course. I should have realized that.

A big Blue Screen of Death to ya,

M

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Hehehe, Hell is where they send all those old PCs when they're recycled. They're kept in the Internet cafe down there, unfortunately half are stuck on defrag mode, a quarter are blue screened, the rest are so painfully slow you can only get one click or a letter at a time and it takes at least a decade for it to accept the next input, oh and someone rearranged the letters on the keyboard to. :P

 

What is Matched? Who's it by? I'll have to add it to my book list.

 

All the anime fans will be thrilled if we grow tails and ears. Could be fun for cosplay!

 

I'll take a set of fox ears and a tail!

-Jools

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That's it! The Rapture came in the year 1000, and we've all been living on borrowed time ever since.

"Borrowed"? You mean we're not in Hell right now?

 

A big Blue Screen of Death to ya,

And a pair of spinning rainbow beach balls to you and your Mac in Heaven.

-T

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Hehehe, Hell is where they send all those old PCs when they're recycled. They're kept in the Internet cafe down there, unfortunately half are stuck on defrag mode, a quarter are blue screened, the rest are so painfully slow you can only get one click or a letter at a time and it takes at least a decade for it to accept the next input, oh and someone rearranged the letters on the keyboard to. :P

 

What is Matched? Who's it by? I'll have to add it to my book list.

-Jools

And with my luck, I'll get stuck doing tech support in Hell. :lol: Great description.

 

Matched is the first book of a YA trilogy by Ally Condie. Book 2, Crossed, is due out in November. It starts out in a dystopian society where every aspect of life is planned in advance, although I'm now starting to wonder what, besides the red pill (there are also blue and green pills) the author stole from other sources and I didn't notice, now that I no longer have a memory. I thought the ending was a bit predictable and the heroine rather blasé about discovering the extent of the Society's duplicity (I won't go into the details, because that would spoil it for you). Otherwise, though, I enjoyed it. And it's short—a really fast read.

 

The trilogy aims at upper-level teenagers, who are basically reading adult books anyway. That's the audience I have in mind for Lynx, so this was in the line of research. I can't quite bring myself to read the Twilight series, although I suppose I should. But I hear the writing is execrable and, as I've noted elsewhere, I have a hard time appreciating the husband potential of guys who drink blood, so I'm afraid I'd split my sides laughing and leave Steve short one beta tester.

 

You know y'all would miss me if I were gone. :P

M

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Perhaps the world will end once everybody in the world completes the Twilight Series and our brains drain out our ears!

 

Twilight... what can I say.... I finally broke down and read it (If I hadn't seen the terrible movies first I probably would have read them sooner. The movies are sooooo much worse) and I'll admit that I read it straight through and then promptly turned back to book 1 read the whole series again a second time. I also read all of the extras and the unfinished bit of her re-write of the first book from Edwards perspective, which is better than the original!

 

The books get progressively better in quality from 1-4. The first two generally drive me insane and the last two I like better, the writing does improve as well, but she isn't even as good as Rowling, but I think she's better than Paolini's first book or two, but his writing improved as well. Unfortunately the series ends feeling rather unfinished, kind of as if Rowling had ended HP on the 5th or 6th book and Meyer's is being a bit of a ..... something.... about not finishing the rewrite of the first book ala Edward POV because it was leaked... all her diehard fans are chomping at the bit to buy it and she's whining about it being leaked! Anyway..

 

The concepts in Twilight are interesting, well at least some of them. I really like her whole werewolf/Native American bit and some things about the vampires were interesting. Unfortunately she has huge theory holes that bug the crap out of me... like if they can't wear contacts very long because their tears dissolve the contacts and generally all bodily fluids have some sort of toxicity...... then how things like kissing, sneezing (wait.... they don't sneeze I guess....), and other things don't generally cause havoc is beyond me. Of course, this is one thing that bugs me about basically any author is contradictions and theory holes... Twilight is just a bit more glaring on that front.

 

As for the relationship betwteen Bella and Edwards and all that... that's what really gets me because it's soooooo freaking ridiculous!!!! Not to mention that it's teaching young susuptible girls that a guy who breaks into your room to watch you sleep is romantic..... among other things. Really that's what bugs me about the series the most is that Edward's and Bella's and even Jacob's behavior is now what every Twilight Tweenie Bopper fan (and some ladies too) want.... and it's dangerous! I know some people disagree with me on that, heck I disagree with people that Harry Potter is going to turn the younger generation to Satanism, but I see a major difference between a fantasy world where magic exists and a world that makes a roll model out of a controlling stalker among other things.

 

Still... the book plays straight to those deep dark (or not so deep and dark) fantasies and day dreams that girls have (and perhaps some guys too) and that makes it like crack. All in all that's what it is, emotional crack. What girl hasn't thought herself the Plain Jane and dreamed of a handsom boy who has a dark side but is really sweet finding her and becoming utterly devoted to her? That's what Twilight's basic premis is. It makes you feel warm and fuzzy (when the vampires aren't ripping each other apart) and it makes you sigh wistfully and cry a time or two when you're not laughing your head off because Meyers once again used the phrase "alabaster brow" (which for me conjures up visions of Anne of Green Gable's ridiculous stories about Counts and Damsels!) or Edward is currently sparkling in the sun......

 

So in summary... Twilight is Crack. :lol:

 

Of course.. I have a grudge against it because it has forever ruined the names Edward and Jacob... both of which I adore and can no longer use for any pets or kids or characters....

 

Wait..... we were talking about the end of the world... At least we're in the Lounge and no one can fault me for hijacking!

- Jools

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... At least we're in the Lounge and no one can fault me for hijacking!

I fault you for hijacking this thread. (Something I'd never do!) But it was totally worth it. That was the best and most insightful review of Twilight I have ever read.

 

The thing that bugged me the most was that vampires didn't go poof in the sunlight but instead went all sparkly. Sparkly! But then I'm just a shallow guy-type person. I hear that girls like sparkly.

 

Soon. Soon.

-Thoth

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And with my luck, I'll get stuck doing tech support in Hell. :lol:

Just keep your Hellphone off the hook. That's what my TS demon does.

 

You know y'all would miss me if I were gone. :P

I miss you when you don't post.

Could you arrange to post from the hereafter?

- Thoth

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Why thank you Thoth!

 

M could post from the hereafter, but if she ends up in Hell's Internet Cafe it'll be one mixed up letter every 10 years. :P But of course M would be in Haven's Internet Cafe, which would mean she'd be able to reply before we even posted! Of course, she might not have much to post about because I'm sure Haven's version of Storyist would be bug free and perfect. :D

 

- Jools

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Just keep your Hellphone off the hook. That's what my TS demon does.

:lol: :lol:

 

I miss you when you don't post.

Could you arrange to post from the hereafter?

- Thoth

Well, that depends. In Heaven the Macs probably have superfast subspace connections to the Internet, but from the nether regions I'd have to choose between turning on my Hellphone or gnashing my teeth at the defragging blue screens. ;)

 

Thanks for the Twilight as crack review, JG. That explains much.

 

Sparkly vampires, sheesh. I may be girly-girl enough to :wub: Alan Rickman, but sparkly vampires make me think of those jelly shoes so popular with the 8-year-old set!

 

Whatever happened to your oldtime Christopher Lee-type burn 'em with sunlight, stop 'em with a stake vampire?

 

Let me guess, Edward loves marinara sauce, with garlic bread on the side....

M

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HAHAHAHA! Yes...... glitter jelly shoes!

 

Twilight Vampires don't generally eat "Human Food" and when they do they have to hack it up later... cause while apparently their eyes dissolve contacts, their stomaches can't dissolve food matter. :blink:

 

So let's see.. the next prediction.... I like the insect idea, it makes me think of the Bugs from Ender.... Maybe the flutterbies in Japan have mutated into man eating machines and they have finally gather enough numbers to subdue us all and are beginning their take over tonight!

- Jules

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I'm thinking ants. Ants with lasers. Sparkly jelly-ants with lasers.

 

Forty-five minutes to Rapture (EST).

Can you feel it in the wind?

-T

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Everybody still there?

 

Gray clouds cover the sky in NYC. And it's starting to drizzle — blood!

No, not blood. Just sky-scented water, with a little urban rainbow thrown in for color.

 

Maybe the Rapture is set for 6pm Pacific Time.

(We may have seen the last Storyist release from Steve.

I knew there'd be a downside to the end of the world.)

-T

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